Managing Expectations in Marriage

Managing individual expectations can probably be the most difficult part of marriage. Infact, expectations are intrinsic to every relationship. For example, children are intricately wound and dependent on their parents for every little thing – need to be fed by them, put to sleep by them, etc. On the other hand, parents too expect their children to become responsible and independent individuals one day.

Having expectations is therefore not a bad thing except that they should be realistic and achievable. You would immediately snap back and say what’s the point in realizing what you have gained if you have never craved for it. Rightly put, desires, expectations are necessary to make life worth living.

Manage Expectations by Recognizing Baseless Assumptions about Marriage

Managing expectations in marriage therefore means – promising less than what you can actually give to the marriage. Expectations in marriage can also be dealt with by coming in terms with the following assumptions couples already seem to make of marriage:

Love is everything. Love is not the only criterion that binds couples in marriage. Trust, understanding, sincerity are some other factors that can balance expectations in marriage.

Talking is enough. Sharing through communication is the key to a peaceful and healthy marriage.

The assumption that people do not change even after marriage. This can ruin the marriage right from its birth. So be hopeful and sincere to make each other happy in marriage.

The intention of carrying on a separate family legacy. This is not possible because the conflicts and the memories of being raised in a particular way remain deep-seated in your psyche and affect you now intimate relationships.

Equality in marriage is easier than traditional marriage.

Children bring parents closer. This however, is not wholly true because nurturing children is certainly not easy. In the present scenario, most marriages have working parents with minimum time spared for their children. Secondly, children can drain the parents off their physical and emotional energy. Sharing responsibilities, changing priorities, etc become even more difficult to cope with.

The fact that magazines and books make sexual and physical intimacy easier. This myth has to be done away with as the comfort levels of the intimacy shared between couples is absolutely subjective.

Managing your expectations in marriage can become easy if you learn to accept the above baseless assumptions about marriage.

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Managing Expectations in Marriage

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