How To Cope With The Grief Of Loosing A Baby

Posted on April 10, 2008 in Tips for A Husband, Tips for A Wife

Nurturing a baby for 9 months in your womb and loosing the baby suddenly is a painful experience for a couple especially the Mother.

Building dreams and hopes during those nine most precious months and suddenly having them shattered is a traumatic experience.

It is important that a couple stand united at this phase. Remember your little baby is an angel interceding for his/her parents.

Grief of loosing a child tends to disrupt a relationship. It is very important that a couple not let this happen.

It is at this phase that a couple needs each other the most, but very often one is so overwhelmed with grief that he/she is not aware of the sorrow of the other partner. This may happen because a couple tends to perceive the grief individually. Individual differences in perception lead to friction, more pain and grief.

What can a couple do to help each other?

Grieve over the loss: It is important that both the woman and man grieve over the loss of their baby. A man may grieve differently from a woman. Expecting your partner to grieve the way you do may bring about more discord in your relationship. A man may grieve by keeping himself busy and by distracting himself. A woman may grieve by talking out her emotions, by crying or by retreating into silence. It is important that a couple supports each other and at the same time lets the other partner have his/her personal space.

How can you silently support each other?

Women may not be interested in love making immediately after a loss. So, husbands dont force your wives into the act.They need to feel loved, cared and esteemed at this time. The husband’s support at this time is very important, support your wife by helping her realize that loosing the baby was not her fault. Make her feel loved by hugging her, doing things she likes, and most importantly by being patient with her. Women tend to grieve longer than men. Expecting women to get over their grief immediately is not a wise thing to do. Tell her often that you understand the pain she is going through. By being patient you are helping her cope with the grief.

Men grieve in ways which are beyond the understanding of a woman. Women need to be patient with their husbands during such times. Their coping strategies are different from women. Men get over there grief quickly compared to women. They are made that way; it is not their fault. Accusing them of being insensitive and irresponsible is not the right thing to do. They are also hurt ,but many of them do not prefer to reveal their emotions. They also need to be feel loved at this moment. Their way of finding love is by getting close sexually; if their needs are not met they feel rejected. Men cannot comprehend silence, so it is very important that women voice out their feelings, making it easier for men to understand what they( women) are going through.

Do not Go Into A Silence Mode.

Communication is the key here, going into your cocoons for a while is okay but longer periods of silence between a couple leads to hamper the relationship. Communicating your feelings helps you understand each other. Communicating your love for each other at these times helps a couple bond very strongly specially at painful moments like these.
Do Activities Together.

Doing activities together helps you as a couple to cope with this grief. The best activity you can do is pray together, for each other. It is said to be the most effective tool at these moments.

Husbands Support Your Wives And Wives Be Patient With Your Husbands

This point is being repeated again here, but then this aspect is really important. Very often a couple tends to forget this point.

Husbands no matter what, always support your wives with sweet nothings, affectionate actions and touching acts. Your support is most required at moments of grief. Your wife may not ask you your support, but she will definitely expect you to stand by her. Doing this will help you win her love forever.

Wives be a little patient with your husbands. Do not expect him to be around you all the time. Let him have his own space and do not expect him to react to things the way you do. Men have different coping strategies. Keep this in mind and you will win his respect forever.

Moments of grief happen to everybody, what is most important is how you deal with it. Loosing a baby can be very painful, but remember it is not your fault. It can bring about painful memories, but it is important that you heal these wounds and move on in life.

Support each other and embrace happiness which is on its way with open arms.

Comments

One Response to “How To Cope With The Grief Of Loosing A Baby”

  1. angela talcott on February 9th, 2009 1:49 pm

    i miss my baby girl anasatia i love her so much she had a twin sister tessa her sister served but she was died when she was in my womb still i was 7 months along thay came 2 months early tessa was in the hosptal for 3 weeks.i miss her moving in my tummy thay both would move alote thay where doing good at all my utra sounds. i miss you anasatia and ill see you again one day.

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