Being An Effective Single Parent

Posted on September 6, 2008 in Tips for A Husband, Tips for A Wife

Losing a spouse to a disease, an accident or a divorce can be very painful. Give yourself some time to mourn over the loss. It’s okay to cry over it. However, let it not extend too long. After a heartfelt mourning, get yourself together and try working things out.

The first most important things that you need to deal with is “Finance”. If you were working earlier, well and good. But if you were a “stay at home mom”, things will be very different for you. You will have to go out and look out for a job, which will help you, feed yourself and the kids.

It may be terrifying initially as you may feel a bit outdated after staying at home so long. Don’t panic! Instead start looking at the latest advancements and developments. The market out is huge and wide, see where you fit in and look out for jobs in that area.

Once you have found a job for yourself its time to take in charge of the child’s activities. Your child may want you to attend matches, school events, exhibitions and parties. With the change in roles this may be impossible for you. But do try and make time for your child. Let them know that they are not abandoned.

Most importantly explain to your children the present situation and how you as a team need to work out things together. Tell them that “Mommy would like to grieve at times and that they should not get worried”. Also, tell them how important it is for you to make ends meet and how much you need them to cooperate. Explain that you wouldn’t be there always but you will be there when required. If the children are big enough encourage them to take up a part-time job, if they want extra pocket money or would like to pay their fees.

Divide responsibilities, since it is practically impossible for you to deal with everything, divide chores amongst yourself and the kids.

At times it may be difficult for you to deal with the child. You may notice the child refusing to obey or being very stubborn. At such times sit with the child and find out what’s troubling him/her. It is important to have an open communication.

Take the help of your near and dear ones. If your parents or your friends want to take the children out for some time of fun let them do so. In fact you could join the group too. Keeping yourself busy and occupied will help you a lot.

There will betimes wherein you will miss your spouse very badly, its okay to grief then. It will take you time to deal with this loneliness. It is also important that you start building your life. Time will definitely heal all wounds.

Meanwhile spend time with the children and it is very important that you as a family deal with this grief. You will notice your children growing to be very matured and understanding.

Remember it’s not the end of the world with your spouse’s death or divorce. There is a world out there and its only you who can help yourself.

 

 
 

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