Fighting With Your Spouse Is Good For Your Relationship

Posted on September 9, 2008 in Tips for A Husband

According to a study conducted by the University Of Michigan, couples who fought lived longer than couples who didn’t fight.

This study spread across 17years was done on 192 couples that were divided in 4 categories

1) Couples in whom the wife suppressed the anger.
2) Couples in whom the husband suppressed the anger.
3) When both the partners expressed their anger.
4) When both the partners did not express their anger.

It was observed that couples that fought out and expressed out their negative feelings lived longer among those individuals who suppressed their anger towards their spouse.

It was the third category of couples who lived longer and shared a good relationship between themselves.

Not dealing with negative emotions also led to resentment and insensitivity. When being attacked unfairly it is wise that the individual speak up, as these resentments transform themselves into various psychosomatic disorders.

Another important factor after a fight is making up with each other. It is important that one deal with the topic that cause a conflict and try and resolve it. This aspect in fact strengthens a relationship and your spouse wouldn’t repeat the behavior that caused the conflict.

But if you do not express your anger, your spouse would never know why you are upset and would continue to repeat the behavior. This will further increase the anger in you and would build up the tension between the both of you. Ultimately you will be the one who will end up suffering the most, both in your relationship as well as your health.

Communication is the key here. When your spouse is angry with you and is shouting at you for no fault of yours, keep quiet at that time. When your spouse cools down explain to him/her the actual truth and how much their behavior hurt you.

Also, make it clear that you wouldn’t like the same behavior to repeat again. This is necessary because the next time your spouse is angry with you and wants to scream his/her head off, they will pause and think of the situation and will clarify with you before making their move.

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