Marital Stress After The First Child

Posted on September 11, 2008 in Marriage Problems, Tips for A Wife

Marital relationship takes a complete different turn with the arrival of a baby. Though its all excitement and nervousness initially it is, in most of the cases, lack of sleep, irritation and more fights.

You as a couple would find yourself fighting all the time, being irritated, busy, having less time for each other and in most cases you would also find the husband feeling left out.

It is important that one be patient and persevering at such times. Many a times by the child’s first birthday couples find themselves divorcing each other. Stress from a sudden change of “Partner to Parent” role causes many conflicts between a couple.

If dealt with, properly this phase will be easier to deal with and may lead to a lasting relationship.

Some tips that will prove to be useful are

1) It is important that both husband and wife completely understand the change in role that they have been through. If one were mentally prepared for the increase in responsibilities and lifestyle change one would handle it in a better way.

2) It is important that husbands understand the change in wife’s role. With the coming of the baby your wife would be spending more time with the baby. It is “OKAY” to feel left out at times because all this while you were the center of attraction for your wife, and now your baby has taken the place. You could overcome this feeling by spending more time with your wife and child.

3) Wives on the other hand should try and understand the husband’s change of role. He is no longer your Protector but has turned into a Provider now. He will have the additional burden of taking care of you and your child. Don’t panic or be irritated when you see him withdrawn and aloof. Instead call him over and gently explain to him your day’s chores and the baby’s activity throughout the day.

4) Things will be different in the first few months of the baby birth. It will be hectic for both of you as you try and get adjusted to the baby’s presence in your lives. But once you get used to the routine, things will take a complete turn over. You will be more used and settled in the new situation, your role as a caretaker and will be more relaxed. Also, you are aware of the child’s sleeping and feeding pattern. This will help you spend your free time with your spouse.

5) Once the child has grown little big, you could leave the child with someone you trust and spend your weekends alone with each other.

6) You could also take the baby out for a walk or a picnic and try to bond over.This definitely strenghtens the family bond.

Changes in lifestyle do cause some stress be it a new job or a new place or a new house. It takes time for one to get adjusted. In the same way, having a baby will add some stress to the marriage, but when dealt in a persevering manner, they will double the joy and strengthen the relationship greatly.

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