PreMarital Counseling A Must

Posted on September 12, 2008 in Arranged Marriage, Love Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Proposals

You are all set for the most important day of your life. You have bought the dress, have got the invitations ready, have the menu ready, the wedding has been planned out perfectly, and the efforts in assembling things together have been a success.

But, Wait On!!!!

Have you gone for a pre-marital counseling?

“Why Should I, I know him/her for ages!! Counseling is not my cup of tea”. Well, all these are the thoughts that are running across your mind now.

What one does not realize is that counseling is important for all the couples who don’t know or know each other very well before marriage.

Why Should I go in for counseling?

Well, counseling helps you plan out your future together as a couple. One plans before taking a major step in their life because one needs to be sure of what they are doing. Planning is done before selecting a school, a college, charting out the budget, buying a new appliance and so many other aspects of life. If planning is done for such mundane things why not marriage? , Which is the most important thing in your life.

As a couple you would have met over several dates and lot of sweet nothings and romantic stuff would have been discussed.

No doubt, these things strengthen a relationship but a real serious discussion in the presence of a professional counselor is a must.

It is not easy to discuss serious aspects when one is in a romantic mood and is ready to fly off in their dream world.

That’s where a professional counselor comes in and helps both of you look at various aspects.

No matter how well you know each other, there will be some side of personality of your spouse, which you will discover only after marriage. What if you weren’t aware of it? And tend to get frustrated with this habit of your partner after marriage. How would you deal with it?

Here are some important aspects, which are discussed in a marriage and make counseling such a necessity.

Compatibility: How well you both get along and how much time does it take for you to get out of a fight?What is it that annoys you about your partner and in general? What would you like your partner to do about it?

Expectations: What are your expectations out of this marriage.Why are you marrying this person?Is love the motive or is it some other reason.

Personalities and Families of origin:  What kind of a background do you both belong to. What is it that you were taught to value the most? How were you brought up? What are your parent’s expectations from this marriage? What does your family value the most?

Communication: Does communication to each other come easily? Can you communicate when angry and disappointed with partner? If No, how could you overcome it? How well can you deal with your partner’s criticism? What is it that you find difficult talking to your partner? Why can’t you share it out openly?

Intimacy and Sexuality: How open are you when it comes to intimacy? What can your partner do to make you feel special? How comfortable are you with each other’s body?

Conflict Resolution: How well can you resolve conflicts between you two? What you could do to patch up after a conflict?

Long Term Goals: Would you like to have children, If Yes when? If No, Why? How many children would you like to have? How would the finances be dealt with?

All these are some aspects which will help you both understand each other and make you well equipped on situations would eventually would rise up after marriage. These issues can be inevitable as after a certain point of marital life one tends to take the other for granted, and stress and family conflicts tend to affect your marital relationship. That’s when these skills come handy, as you have already dealt with them before.

These are the few reasons, which help explain why counseling is important before marriage.

 

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