How To Deal With A Insecure Spouse

Posted on September 19, 2008 in Marriage Problems, Tips for A Husband

Marital relationships go through many ups and downs, however this becomes worse if one of the spouse is very insecure about the relationship. Constant nagging, attention seeking behavior, temper tantrums, mood swings, and fights will characterize your relationship.

In order to deal with such partners one needs to be

Very Patient: Try and understand why your spouse is so insecure. Did he/she have a problematic childhood, were they in any relationship before they got engaged with you and did that previous partner leave emotional scars? The idea here is to deal with the root cause and uproot it with love and patience.

Tell Them About Your Whereabouts: This way they will be least worried about you. Tell them what you are doing and communicate as often as possible with your spouse.

Don’t Flirt In Front Of Them: As your spouse is very insecure try not to flirt in front of them. Even if you know the flirting was harmless. Because this will leave them more edgy and want to control you more. There are times when friends of the opposite sex call up and you will see your spouse burning up. You could avoid such a situation by introducing your spouse to your friends and facilitate a good rapport between them. This way your spouse also wouldn’t be angry or crib about you talking to them.

Spend Quality Time: This is another major reason why spouses feel insecure with their partners. Lack of communication and love causes them to loose trust and harbor negative feelings in a marriage. It is therefore important that couples spend quality time with each other.

Share Your Achievements: Another reason why couples feel insecure about their relationship is due to Ego hurdles. There are times when the wife earns more than the husband and the man feels very insecure about it and projects it in various hostile ways. This problem could be dealt with if the wife shares her achievements with her husband. She could tell him abut the work she is dealing with, ask his inputs, share and discuss the troubles, ask for his cooperation with relation to the housework and explain why she wouldn’t be able to tend to it. She could also brag about her husband’s cooperation and how encouraging he is. This way the husband also feels appreciated and wouldn’t mind it if the wife earned more than him.

Lack Of Appreciation: When one partner does something nice for the other and if they don’t notice and appreciate it, this would hurt the partner. If this keeps happening continuously this would really demotivate the partner and cause him/her to be very indifferent. The relationship will be greatly affected. It is therefore important to constantly appreciate your spouse.

Keep all these points in mind and ensure that you drive out this insecurity from your marriage.

Comments

2 Responses to “How To Deal With A Insecure Spouse”

  1. josh on March 19th, 2009 7:40 pm

    In the actual marriage we didn’t really have any
    insecurity but we seperated because my wife couldn’t
    take my emotional distance and selfishness (a big oops
    on my part) but I’ve been working to repair the damage.
    Well she was caught lieing to me a few times and THEN
    I became insecure. I admit I snooped a bit and checked
    on her whereabouts a couple times. I blamed her for it
    because of the lies and what she lied about but looking
    back at it now I’M the one who’s feeling guilty because
    her parents think I need medication for doing that.
    It hasn’t continued but I feel very awkward with myself
    for acting like that now. The wife doesn’t act like she’s
    freaked out by it or anything but she did say that it
    started to spook her a bit. (shrug) She also understands
    she gave me good reason to be worried at the time.
    I hope and pray that we can work this out for us and
    our 19 m/o little girl.

    God bless

  2. Girly-Girl on August 31st, 2009 7:26 pm

    This is the dumbest advice ever given!!! Telling them where you are every momnet just to keep them from being insecure is not helping the insecure person AT ALL !!! It’s keeping them from havimng top deal with what’s really going on with them and if you moved past a prevoius realtionship to the point of marriage the old flame that broke your heart should not be in your marriage as a problem for your current spouse to have to deal with!!! Be kind to people and give advice to animals from now on!!!!

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