How to Empathize With Your Wife
It is very important that you as a husband are very careful when empathizing with your wife. Men are wired to be problem solvers, but women are quite different. They are very emotional and nurturing. Women have the same capacities you do to deal with life’s situations –problems, criticism, work pressures, and family crises –but sometimes they need reassurance and confidence from a loved one.
Men must understand that this need for reassurance does not just happen once, but it keeps happening. It is common for men to think they have dealt with this same issue once, and it should no longer be necessary to reassure their wives. But this is not the case. Women need consistent and constant reassurance.
Let me share some simple tips regarding empathizing with your wife.
1. When you notice your wife is in a bad mood, stop whatever you are doing and just listen to her. Your favorite sports channel can (and should) be turned off. For a few moments, shift your focus from the TV and listen to your wife.
2. While she is sharing, you can show empathy by saying any of the following:
- Yes, I understand.
- Yeah, I know it’s hard for you.
- Oh, my poor baby, you are dealing with so much.
- I know this has been tough.
As you listen, try hugging her or rubbing her hands. You will see your wife unwind at your attention.
Unfortunately, men, on hearing their wives complaining about something, often launch into sage advice instead of just listening. This is not what she wants, and she ends up even more frustrated, leaving the man more confused than ever.
3. Be patient. Women have a tendency to go back over past hurts. Men find this very irritating and wonder why women cannot get over something that has happened in the past. “Why don’t you just get over it,” is something every man tells his wife. Sometimes men need to be patient when a woman tends to go over the past again and again. Give her the space to just vent. That’s all she really wants.
Communication and trust, together with the above-mentioned suggestions, will give you a better understanding of your wife’s need to vent. Make sure you don’t advise when your wife just needs sympathy.
Keep a conscious check over how you react to what your wife says. Slowly and steadily you will be able to master the art of empathizing, and there will come a time when you will no longer find it difficult to relate to your wife.