When Your Spouse Feels Left Out

Posted on September 25, 2008 in Tips for A Husband, Tips for A Wife

There are times when one may not be able to give all their attention to their spouse. Work, children and other issues may gain lot of importance. At such times one may notice their partner sulking away and complain of you “Not Paying Enough Attention To Them”

You may also be confused about their behavior and wonder how and why this concept entered into your spouses mind. You may feel that your spouse shouldn’t feel left out because you really love them and diverting your attention away from them does not mean that you don’t care for them. You want them to know that you still love them but are expressing it in a different way, by working harder, keeping their house clean, cooking for them etc.

Your spouse on the other hand will complain that you have completely left them out and are not the same anymore.

This is an issue every couple faces at some point of a time. It is very important that one understands and perceives the situation and deal with it in an effective manner.

Two very common situations that one faces, wherein one of the spouses feels left out and ways that one can deal with them effectively are given below.

1) When faced with this situation wherein you tend to have a good rapport with a friend or colleague and your spouse feels insecure in the presence of that individual, you could do the following.

In such cases one could introduce the colleague or friend to their spouse and build a good relationship between them. Once your spouse knows your colleague and begins to be comfortable around them, they will no longer feel left out and ignored.

If you as a spouse are facing such a situation and your partner is not aware (that he/she talking to a colleague is making you feel insecure) of the problem, you could try and get to know the person who is close to your husband/wife.
After this you could communicate with your spouse and tell them how you feel about it and both of you could work it out.

2) If your spouse is spending too much time at the office and elsewhere and you feel you are not getting enough attention, you could try out the following tactics.

Instead of being angry with your spouse when he/she comes home late, you could welcome them with a broad smile.

You could make them feel comfortable by keeping their slippers ready or massaging their backs when they are very tired.

Try asking them about their job, gently probing them, making them feel that you are interested in what they are doing.

This way your spouse will feel attracted towards you and would want to spend time with you.

On the other hand the busy spouse should make some time for the other, and before hand communicate to your spouse about your busy schedule and tell them what is stressing you so much.

This way your partner will have an understanding towards you and would be eager to give you your space.

Keep these points in mind and deal with the situation effectively. Preaching is easy Practicing is what it is that requires real initiative. Communication is easy when it comes to a third person but communicating to a loved one is very difficult.

Therefore get over the obstacles and take the initiative to deal with issues.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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