Spouse pays more attention to others than me

Posted on December 16, 2008 in Marriage Problems, Tips for A Husband

Relationships take a complete “ U “ turn after some years of togetherness. Spouses who were so considerate and concerned about your needs and wishes suddenly tune out and spend their lives in front of the TV or Computer for a major part of their lives.

It is sometimes maddening, to see one’s spouse forgetting things, and not doing tasks assigned to him/her.

In such cases spouses will not be able to identify subtle hints, instead they need to be clearly told about what is expected from them.

Here are some tips on what one should do to deal with such spouses.

1)    Focus On The Positive: Instead of getting mad angry with your spouse all the time about the things he/she is not doing for you, focus on the positive things they have for e.g. your spouse may be a very good cook or a very good singer or a very good husband etc.

2)    Communication Is The Key:  Communication is a very important aspect in a relationship. Since your partner has problem attending to things, make sure you provide a clear mode of communication that your spouse attends too. If your husband does not note the letters that you paste up on the kitchen board but is more tuned to emails, EMAIL him your requests.
3)    Ask What You Want: Spouses sometimes are so caught in their own world that they hardly notice your subtle hints about what you want. So, its sometimes better to bite your tongue and ask them things out directly rather than hoping that your spouse noticed your hints.
4)    Do Things For Them: Since your spouse is not doing things the way you want them to do, it would be better if you would do for them what you want them to do for you. Follow the Golden rule and you will find your anger tuning down.
5)    Stop Expecting: Stop expecting your spouse to be the way you want them to be, instead learn to accept them the way they are and make changes in accordance to their personality. For e.g. if you expect your spouse to call you up every time he/she is late and they don’t call you in spite of repeated reminders you call them and find out about things.

Communication and tolerance is the key for dealing with such spouses.

Comments

Leave a Reply