Help Your Wife Deal With The Trauma Of Breast Cancer

Posted on January 31, 2009 in Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems

Breast cancer comes as a great shock to many women. The trauma of it is very great and unexplainable. However, when women share this pain with their husbands, it is observed that in most cases men don’t tend to handle it very well. Instead of supporting and empathizing with their wives men tend to avoid this pain.

This avoidance from her spouse turns out to be a much more big trauma to women. Men may not realize how painful their reaction is to a woman.

Therefore here are some tips on how a man can help his spouse deal with the traumatic news of breast cancer.

1)    Be Empathetic: When your spouse gets to know this news she may be in great shock, and you would be the first person with whom she may want to share this news with. You may be also greatly upset with this news, and in such situations it would be greatly preferable that you come out of your shock and rush to your wife’s side. Hold her hands and be there for her when she pours out her grief. Listen to her, you don’t have to counsel her, just be there.

2)    Doctor’s Appointments: Now that you know the sad news, both your wife and you may try your level best in seeking out the best cure. You may rush from expert to another. In this mad rush do not forget three crucial points.

a) Your wife may be very nervous sitting outside the doctor’s room, hoping that at least this one may come up with a cure for her problem. Make sure you are there with your wife when she is visiting the doctor. If it is not possible for you to be present at every visit to the doctor make sure you are constantly in touch with her via phone, assuring and encouraging her or send some family member or close friend to be with her.
b) Your wife may be very tensed about what is happening to her, and may not remember the questions she wanted to ask the doctor, and may also not remember the suggestions the doctor gave her. Therefore make sure you make notes. However, do not barge in unnecessarily, pitch in only when she asks for help.
c)  Hold Her Hands, as research proves that holding loved hands when worked up helps reduce stress.

3)    Chemotherapy: Stand by your wife during the painful sessions of chemotherapy. It can be very painful as your wife may severe hormonal changes. She may vomit endlessly, look flushed out, loose large amounts of hair and shrink considerably. At such times your wife may greatly loose self-esteem. Therefore, make sure you are there supporting and encouraging her.

4)    Your Support: Is extremely important. A woman is capable of dealing with anything and everything and is all the stronger when she receives unconditional support from her loved ones. Kind words and constant encouragement are sources of great support to your wife.

Keep these points in mind and overcome this phase as a couple together.

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