Rebuilding a Relationship after Separation

Rebuilding and sustaining a relationship after separation is one of the most difficult jobs one can do.  Betrayal makes the marriage relationship even more difficult to repair.  It is up to you to decide if you are willing to rebuild the relationship if you have been betrayed.  Trust, honor and commitment should be the foundation of marriage, so you either learn to trust your spouse once more or you move on without them.

It is very painful and difficult to rebuild trust in a marriage and it may take a very long time.   You may experience shock, anger, denial and depression before accepting the betrayal that has happened.  Couples can expect some minor problems in marriage which can be resolved, but some problems may leave you no option other than a separation.

Rebuilding your Relationship after a Separation:

  • Respect each other.  The marriage will not work if you don’t respect your spouse.  Show your respect for your spouse by talking to him in a calm voice and with dignity.
  • Do not hold grudges.  When you have arguments, do not hold your feelings inside as these feelings will turn to anger.  Be patient with each other and don’t come to a conclusion without hearing the whole story.  If you have made a mistake then don’t be afraid to admit it.
  • Communicate your feelings, thoughts and problems to your spouse.  You and your spouse need to develop good communication skills if you really want to rebuild your relationship.   In conversation ask questions such as how was your day and how do you feel?  Questions like this will make your spouse feel more comfortable talking to you.
  • Be faithful.  Countless marriages have been ruined by infidelity.  You and your spouse need to be faithful to each other in order to make your marriage work.  Keep yourself away from physical and emotional affairs.
  • Give and take on both sides helps make your married life successful.  Learn to be self-sacrificing and flexible in order to make your marriage work.
  • Seek advice from a professional marriage counselor.  The job of a counselor is to act as a mediator between you and your spouse.  He/she will help you recognize your personal shortcomings.  They will also offer practical solutions to marital problems.

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