How to Cope With a Selfish Spouse
Everyone is different. We all have our own unique quirks and personality traits. Some people are generous and kind, whereas some are self-centered and selfish. Unfortunately, some adults behave like children. They become irate and/or immature when they do not get their own way. They do not know how to behave like mature adults and instead resort to childish temper tantrums. Well believe it or not – selfish spouses do exist. These spouses hardly ever show love and consideration for other people.A selfish spouse will not tell you that he/she loves you nor will he/she help you with household and/or parenting responsibilities. A selfish spouse only thinks about himself/herself. The world revolves around your spouse and only your spouse.
Marriage is a balance between giving and taking, but unfortunately a selfish spouse does not understand this concept. These spouses cannot comprehend that when you marry someone you promise to share everything with that person. In order for a marriage to be successful both individuals in the relationship must love, value and respect one another. If you are married to a selfish spouse you have come to the right place. The article gives you some valuable suggestions on how to cope with a selfish spouse.
Ways to Cope With A Selfish Spouse
- Share Your Feelings with Your Spouse
Share your feelings with your spouse. Explain to your partner that marriage involves compromise. Tell your spouse that you love him/her and that you want to work on your marriage. Explain to your partner that you need him/her to take a more active role in your relationship. If you need help with parenting responsibilities and household duties, tell your spouse. Don’t be afraid to share your feelings with your partner. Your spouse should know that he/she needs to respect you and your decisions. If your mate is unreceptive to your requests and indifferent towards your feelings – stop doing things for him/her and give your spouse a taste of his/her own medicine.
- Ignore Your Spouse
When your spouse starts acting like a child because you will not do what he/she wants, then simply ignore him/her. You do not have the time or energy to be a “parent” to your spouse. If your spouse wants to act like a toddler by sulking, throwing tantrums or refusing to talk to you – walk away and do something productive. Your spouse will eventually see that this tactic is not working and give up.
- Divide Household and/or Parenting Responsibilities
Develop a household/parenting “to-do-list” for you and your spouse. Make sure the due dates are clearly listed on your “to-do-list”. Do not except excuses from your spouse on why he/she could not complete his/her tasks. Discuss the consequences when you or your spouse does not complete your tasks on time.
- Seek Professional Help
If you do not feel that you can successfully cope with your spouse’s selfish behavior then seek professional help. A counselor, psychologist or a marriage and family therapist will be able to teach you coping skills that will help you deal with your spouse’s inconsiderate and selfish behavior.