If your spouse is acting selfish, it means he/she is unconsciously hinting at something. Try to talk with them to find out if there is actually something bothering them. You both have to respect each others feeling and decisions.
If that does not help and your spouse continues to act like a child then ignore your spouse for a while. Your spouse will realize that this tactic is not working and give up.
You both are responsible for household and parenting works, so divide your responsibilities and do not accept any excuse from your spouse on why he/she cant able to complete their task.
You can encourage your spouse to do social service or charity work. You could take up the initiative and involve them.
If you feel that you can’t cope with your spouse’s behavior then take the help of professionals. Marriage and family therapists can teach you the skills that will help you deal with your spouse’s behavior.
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