Arranged Marriage

Should I or shouldn’t I?

It is funny that when complains of too much of individualism, the concept of Arranged marriage is even being discussed. Arranged marriage is a common phenomenon, though not in developed nations, and matches are still being fixed by family for their wards, all round the world.

Arranged marriage has been a tradition of many places (if not families). The idea behind it is simple – getting together people of similar brought ups and economical conditions. Constant parents’ support, guidance and involvement make it a very secured and safe way to get married. The expectations from both the sides are discussed and so are the limitations. Only when all the members of the family agree to the terms and conditions, the act of marriage is performed.

There is a saying from India, “love is between two people, marriage is between two families”. This statement is still taken seriously in India. Arranged marriages generally are a way of getting two families together. However as the independence levels of each person increased, the concept of arranged marriage has been changing.

Today, arranged marriages are as simple as parents giving the some one the options. The brides and bridegrooms become commodities to each other as they choose between options like race, nationality, financial status. Though many people tend to disagree that this is the ideal way to get married, quite a few number of marriages have worked well. This is because everyone, and importantly the “Would be” husbands and wives, have a fair idea of each other’s character in the society.

Help from parents and friends goes to the level of getting information from acquaintances and things such as where a person hails from, behavior, working nature, prestige, health are all in one or the other way investigated. Phone calls, even watched outings are also allowed. These things are no lesser than courtship and hence give a fair chance to the individuals to know and understand each other.

In the developing and the under developed countries this is still the best way because the ‘personal freedom’ given to most individuals is less. Hence an independent choice can be easily biased. Arranged marriages provide great emotional security to all the persons involved.

However the other side of an arranged marriage is the increased dependence on the families by the newly weds. Understanding each other becomes more an issue of understanding one another. This takes time and demands too much of patience from both sides. Communication becomes clichéd and is understood more in terms of “your family” and “my family”.