Building Self Esteem After Divorce

Self esteem is badly hurt in divorce. But it’s not just divorce that causes dents on your self-esteem, living for months or even years in a bad marriage can do the damage too.
Divorce undoubtedly is a period of mental disturbance. You are angry, you feel cheated, you feel lost especially if your spouse is the one seeking divorce. Divorce leaves you lost and low. All that you need to think differently. Come out of the victim mind-set and take initiatives to make your life better.

Rebuild your self-esteem if you feel you had lost that zing in you.

Focus on the positive things
Focussing on your weakness alone will make you disheartened. So focus on the positive things and you will find a change in your life

Concentrate on the present
Look into your present and find what are the things you need to do to make things better and smoother.

Think Positive
You can do it by telling yourself that you can and by working on the goals you have set for yourself. List the things that you are good at and recollect your past successes as this will help you.
Assert, say, “I can”. Pat yourself for achieving any small thing.

Dont cling on to your past
Past is past and you can’t change it, Analyze it and make notes what was wrong and what needs to be rectified. Avoid making the same mistakes and look towards the future as a matured individual.

Accept the fact
We all make mistakes. All of us make mistakes and don’t harp on it. Don’t blow things out of proportion.Choose to focus on what is positive in your life. You may say it was your partner’s mistake and not yours. accept the fact thinking that you made a wrong choice of partner itself and that now that you have a better chance to get a better person

Don’t try to be perfect
Minimize errors because that gives confidence but dont try to be perfect as that would prevent your march forward.

Socialize
You learn more through interaction than through introspection. Seek out people who make you feel good; make you feel proud of your achievements, looks etc. Join discussion groups or groups engaging in physical activities as these groups would orient you into active social life. You would start taking care of your health and read books more and reading diverts your minds from other thoughts.

Be open to the critical types too. As this set can actually throw light upon your deeper problems which need corrections

Stop Procrastination
Once you have decided to do something, go ahead and do it. The more you think, the more you are confused. Once you have made your decision be prepared for both good and bad. If things go awry take it as a lesson. If you taste success relish it. You like doing something go ahead and do it.