Equality in Marriage

Equality in marriage is possible when things are clear right from the beginning. This however is very difficult as people and their attitudes can change with time and circumstances.

Before embarking on a marriage one should be very sure of his or her own choices and limitations. More important than that is to try and decipher whether you can be compatible with the partner you are considering for the rest of your life or not.

Therefore before you finally decide to marry a person of your choice, you should be very certain about three things namely, transparency of views and ideas, preservation and independence of thought and counsel and enough time accorded before the wedding to meet each other more often to strike more familiarity and openness.

Tips to bring equality in marriage:

Conflicts and frictions come about in marriages owing to the power play that exists between a man and woman and due to traditional notions coming down the ages. For example, it is a norm that a woman is supposed to handle the kitchen front and the man the economic or financial front.

But modern day men and women have defied these self designed boundaries and what they thought was their limiting factors have now become their strengths. For example, today’s leading chefs are men and successful business heads are women.

Follow these tips to bring equality in your marriage:

  • Keep reminding yourself that you are no superior to your partner but on an equal footing with varied preferences and choices.
  • Ensure that you have a joint account of the assets you have individually earned and/or acquired.
  • Understand each others demands and the extent to which you can fulfill them.
  • Try appreciating and accolading the others abilities and assurances.
  • Be transparent about your feelings, choices, advice and suggestions.
  • Communicate in an effective way. For example, never fight about a problem but try looking for solutions together.
  • Compromise when you notice that the argument or situation is getting out of hand and reaching no solution. Anger can lead you to nothing but destruction so save your marriage from that.
  • Always look for the positive qualities in your partner and relationship.
  • Be analytical and reflective rather than impulsive and impractical when it comes to solving an issue.
  • Do not lose your nerves and patience when you are getting into an argument with your partner. Postpone the discussion if it is reaching no end.
  • Always be sincere, honest and focused about an issue and accept when you are going wrong.
  • Don’t put off or refute your partner’s opinion as it can cause heated reactions but no solutions.
  • Don’t merge issues like a financial concern and your emotional demands as they can only cause more confusion and misunderstandings.
  • If you are noticing an unhealthy trend of a strenuous marriage which is infected with regular heated moments, then recognize the need for outside help where the opinion and advice of a counselor or friend may help in improving your relationship with your partner.

Some people feel that individual fulfillment can bring equality in marriages but it is a choice that you alone can make and no one can enforce it upon you, not even your partner. Individual fulfillment won’t be far if you expect less and appreciate and accept things in your stride.