ygoy.com Blog Just another WordPress weblog 2009-11-06T09:21:55Z WordPress http://marriage.ygoy.com/feed/atom/ Administrator http:// <![CDATA[Are Erratic Work schedules making Couples become more Talkative]]> http://marriage.ygoy.com/2009/11/06/are-erratic-work-schedules-making-couples-become-more-talkative/ 2009-11-06T09:21:55Z 2009-11-06T09:08:51Z In today’s world, both men and women work. The work schedules in the corporate world are mostly erratic. There are clashes between the daily life activities of the partners. They do not get much time to spend together and weekly offs are mainly spent on some much needed sleep and rest. When the partners finally manage some time to spend together, they become more talkative and less responsive.

couple_argument

What is this Sorry state: It is natural and beneficial for a healthy married life that the couple converse with each other regularly. The conversation can be related to personal, professional or any other issue. More than the topic, it is the moment spent together that is imperative for the relation in long term. But because of the erratic work schedules the urge to spend some quality time remains suppressed in men and women.

Why this Sorry state persists: The couples have very less time to spend together. A strange sense of urgency creeps in such private moments too. The couple plan and prioritize the issues they want to raise in these moments in prior. And such moments arrive, all gates of the flood are let loose. Instead of pleasantly sharing some moments of intimacy, the couple become more talkative.

How to overcome this Sorry state: It is a matter of realization and choice to make. The couple should realize that family bond and materialistic satiation by following corporate job and life style do not go hand in hand. In the larger interest of the relation and the family, any one spouse has to take the back seat and ensure his or her presence at home after the partner returns from work. The effort should be provide appropriate ambiance and comfort to the tired partner after the day’s work. With such pleasant conditions at home, one partner will be eager to listen and the other will be prepared to talk rather than become more talkative. The choice to play such a role should be voluntary.

]]>
0
Administrator http:// <![CDATA[How Silent Moments between Couples enhance Intimacy]]> http://marriage.ygoy.com/2009/11/04/786/ 2009-11-04T06:58:33Z 2009-11-04T06:52:06Z In today’s world of hectic life, erractic work schedules of a couple, do not allow them to spend some quality moments with each other. Lack of silent moments in their lives reduce the appreciation a couple should have for each other. The role played by such moments to strengthen intimacy is getting underrated these days. This article tries to understand the significance of these special moments of life.

couple

Why are Silent Moments: Amidst the chaos of daily life activities and stress, these are the moments when the two partners find themselves in each other’s arms. They relax and experience some tender moments of touch, care and pamper. Women especially are responsive to such moments. They look forward to such moments the whole day. These moments make the partners realize the bliss associated in being married.

What are Silent Moments: These special and private moments can be spent by listening to music, enjoying pillow fights or by sharing a glass of wine together. The intention should be to experience the presence of the partner strongly. It is this experience a couple misses a most in recent times. These are moments of appreciation and topics of conflicts should be strictly kept at bay.

roses

How we respond to Silent Moments: Mostly men look forward to physical intimacy in these special moments. Women however expect sharing of experiences and lots of talking. Recentments take place when the partners do not possess the knowledge about each other’s expectations and responses. These special moments should involve both, verbal and physical intimacy, as par the convenience of the couple.

]]>
0
Administrator http:// <![CDATA[How to Deal with Women Mood Swings]]> http://marriage.ygoy.com/2009/10/31/how-to-deal-with-women-mood-swings/ 2009-11-02T05:41:47Z 2009-10-31T06:48:43Z Mood swings in women is a natural things. The reasons are aplenty and non specific, from the weather conditions to breaking of their nails. The poor men face the consequences of women mood swings. The best way to curb this menace is to keep the women happy and contended. This article tries to make the life easy for men.

Mood Swings

Women need Pampering: Feelings in women about themselves change like the tides in the sea. They need lots of attention and reassurance about them consistently. Pampering is the way of providing these needs. Men can learn to pamper by ignoring the small mistakes and vices of their wives.

Women need Quality Time: The intimacy between the couples is an essential factor for the women well being after marriage. It can be increased when men start spending quality time with their wives. They should share their everyday experiences with their spouse. It can be practiced by carefully prioritising everyday work schedule of the men and by realising the significance of spending time with their wives. In this way, women mood swings can be reduced.

Women need to be Listened to: Talking is an avenue of relaxation for the women. Whether they are worried or simply curious, they would like to talk and share the news or information. Men who are little considerate and patient enough to hear what women have to say are well appreciated. If general conversation involves wit and humor, the women can be found always in their elements leaving no room for women mood swings.

]]>
0
Administrator http:// <![CDATA[How an Extrovert can Appreciate Space]]> http://marriage.ygoy.com/2009/10/28/how-an-extrovert-can-appreciate-space/ 2009-10-28T06:05:04Z 2009-10-28T06:02:22Z Extroverts are fun loving and social people. They love to invite, get invited and enjoy the pleasure of being surrounded by like minded people. But space has its own role in married life. This article tries to understand how an extrovert can appreciate the space of his spouse.

extrovert

Why personal space is essential: These are the moments when we streamline and analyze our thoughts and actions. We plan our strategies to meet the challenges and expectations laid before us. We assess our personal state of emotional well being and chalk out means to address other complex aspects of our persona in such moments.

What space means to an extrovert: They expect their partners to be along with them most of the times actively involved in all their social activities. When the spouse seeks some lonely moments, these people misunderstand their partner and get hurt. Serious moments of contemplation close to moments of personal space are otherwise rare in these people’s lives. Such moments are not brought in voluntarily by them. It is mostly when these people get hurt that they like to be alone. Even in such moments they would prefer to be with their loved ones.

Things an extrovert should know about space: The well being of the human personality lies in a healthy mixture of socialising and moments of space. While socialising teach us communication skills, contemplation done during the moments of personal space teach us relating with our inner self. Our personality is complete when there is harmony between our inner and outer selves.

]]>
0
Administrator http:// <![CDATA[Importance of Emotional Outbursts in Married Life]]> http://marriage.ygoy.com/2009/10/26/importance-of-emotional-outbursts-in-married-life/ 2009-10-26T06:43:06Z 2009-10-26T06:40:51Z Familiarity breeds contempt. A direct consequence of familiarity between the couples is bottling of negative emotions in the early days of marriage. It is done to continue to be nice to our spouse. But their is a limit to patience too. What follows next is an obvious but unpleasent outburst of emotions to bring in normalcy. This article tries to understand the importance of this unavoidable aspect of married life.

Emotional Outbursts

Emotional Outburts are Normal: Couples should realize early that losing temper and facing the blunt of temper are part of the game called married life. We cannot expect either our temperment or our partner’s temperment to be pleasing all the time. Preparing ourselves in prior for the unpleasent times when our partner exists in bad mood, is important to avoid disappointments and undue recentments.

Emotional Outbursts are Necessary: Mostly it is found that one partner is relatively patient than the other in a relationship. He or she is more understanding by nature and realises the importance of composure in maintaining peace at home. But such a partner is taken for granted by the spouse. As a result, they do not get any avenue to let their negative emotions out. This leads to dominance of one spouse at the cost of depression in the other. To restore emotional harmony, it is important that the partners let their anger, complaints and frustrations out from time to time.

Emotional Outburst should be dealt with Grace: It is the most difficult thing to do. But if implemented with efforts, this measure can save many marriages from divorces and curb the rising cases of adultry in our society.

]]>
0
Administrator http:// <![CDATA[How to Deal with the Absent Mindedness in Your Husband]]> http://marriage.ygoy.com/2009/10/23/how-to-deal-with-the-absent-mindedness-in-your-husband/ 2009-10-23T06:44:31Z 2009-10-23T06:42:39Z Absent minded people are considered bit eccentric. The usual trance surrounding them can be annoying to many. But what if our life partner ends up being an absent minded individual. This article tries to understand dealing with absent mindedness in husbands.

absent_minded

Accept the fact and be indifferent: A spouse should embrace the persona of the partner including the vices. The job of a loving wife is to address the issue of absent mindedness in her husband and plan a solution. She should not show any signs of frustration or sulking before her husband. Though the absent minded people do not respond to such rude treatments, they do remember them.

Give him time: The first step to address this issue is to make the husband feel unnnerved in the presence of her initially. He should be convinced that the absent mindedness of his persona is a vices in him and needs attention. Ignoring the the fallouts of this problem can damage the image of his persona in public. When he will realize that there is adequate support from his wife, the signs of change will be apparent.

Is there a problem to be addressed: On a serious note, the wives can find out whether absent mindedness is the inner nature of her husband or he is facing any crises unshared yet with her. Men by their very nature remain aloof in the moments of crisis to sort them. They cannot find mental peace till the issue is fixed. During this phase of contemplation, the behavior displayed by them is also close to being absent minded. So, it is in the best interest to clarify wheather the husband is facing any crisis or not.

]]>
0
Administrator http:// <![CDATA[Couples of Mixed Marriages]]> http://marriage.ygoy.com/2009/10/19/couples-of-mixed-marriages/ 2009-10-20T10:36:03Z 2009-10-19T06:28:32Z Love knows no boundaries. It is blind. Ask the meaning of these adages and some people will swear by them. They are the couples of Mixed Marriages. This article to cherish the spirit and lives of such novel couples.

mixed marriage

In Diversity, resides Unity: These couples stand apart in the crowd. They are different in every way one can fathom. From the skin color to their upbringing. But amidst this diversity lies a unity of thoughts and feelings. They realize that marriage is all about learning, sacrificing and having fun. The rest of the differences dissolve in mid way. Virtues like honesty and trust are not bartered and the rainy days of happiness follow after the summer of conflicts and disagreements.

Love begets Love: They are the living examples in the society that love knows only love. No cultural barrier or social norm can separate two people from loving each other and getting united for life by marriage. It takes courage. But love finds its way. In a world of narrow minded people, these free spirited people come closer for the first time in each others lives by challenging and dissolving the traditional social norms. It is because the magical power in love itself strengthen the couples of mixed marriages all the way to their successful union.

Mixed Marriages

A Thing or Two to Learn: We all love complacency, are comfortable with routine and resist exploration. It is basically because change brings with it adjustments. And adjustments call for efforts. The inherent reticence of human nature do not allow us to welcome and appreciate chance in our lives. The moment we crack this nut, life opens the door of new experiences and excitements. Couples of Mixed Marriages know this from day one of their dating.

]]>
0
Administrator http:// <![CDATA[How Often Do You Say – Im Sorry for Blaming You – to Your Partner]]> http://marriage.ygoy.com/2009/10/14/how-often-do-you-say-im-sorry-for-blaming-you-to-your-partner/ 2009-10-20T10:35:22Z 2009-10-14T06:21:28Z Divorce rates and Adultery are at all time high. Corporate life style do not provide an iota of chance to the couple for physical intimacy. There are tensions, routine jobs, fatigue and latent but potent sense of frustration inside us. Such un healthy life style patterns are becoming the norms of the day. Our priorities are promotions, perks, salary hikes and other materialistic targets amidst a cut throat competitive in the work place. There is no room for second chance or apology. Should it be the case in our relationships too ? How Often Do You Say – Im Sorry for Blaming You – to our loving partner.

I'm Sorry

Expressing Apology is a Kind Gesture: In today’s world of changing values, expressing apology is not taken in good taste. It is considered next to weakness or defeat. People forget that we are humans. And committing mistakes is part of our evolving. Apology is a kind gesture invented by men to express the feeling of being sorry in a tasteful and decent way. It conquers hearts. And sets right relationships filled with resentments. This simple gesture is brutally replaced by mindless blame games in present times.

We Owe an Apology: We should be apologetic to a host of individuals in our lives. From our kids, spouse, in-laws, parents, friends ….. the list is endless. Our hectic life style do not provide us the chance to the damage caused to our relationships because of our erratic work schedules. But the usual response is unfortunately again the blame game. In marriage, frequent heartbreaks, resentments can be avoided if we use the magical words ” Im sorry for blaming you” appropriately while talking to our spouse. It is not that hard as imagined. Try it.

What it takes to say these words Sincerely: We may need courage to be apologetic these days. It is because the sense and the purpose of apology have become completely different. Initially, genuine thoughtfulness within us changes our perception about apology. Then the realization of its rightful placed in our lives follows. Later we are inspired to stop the blame game and say – ” Im sorry for blaming you”.

]]>
0
Administrator http:// <![CDATA[How Women can avoid Emotional Deprivation because of Love Lost after Marriage]]> http://marriage.ygoy.com/2009/10/12/how-to-avoid-emotional-deprivation-from-love-lost-after-marriage-women/ 2009-10-13T05:16:52Z 2009-10-12T07:08:29Z Life treats us unfairly at times. We love someone and end up marrying another person at times. It is a difficult situation for us. We feel entangled between our past emotions and immediate responsibilities of marriage. Is it possible to avoid or come out of the emotional deprivation with the spouse and move ahead in life positively? This article tries to find out any of such possibilities.

Sad_Woman

Acceptance is the Key: For women it is tough to forget their first love. Losing their first love is extremely unfortunate event to happen. In such state of turmoil, if they are married to another individual, the relationship needs time to evolve. However, the recovery will be faster if it is accepted first that such an incident has indeed struck the person. This helps a lot to come out of the depression that engulfs us after losing our love. It also reduces the risk of emotional deprivation between the newly wed couple.

Understand that our Spouse is Innocent: We should be responsible to understand quickly that we have our share of duties for our spouse and the new relationship of marriage at large. Our spouse has no role in the unfortunate incident that happened with us. Respecting his expectations and trying to meet them should be our primary focus. We should feel lucky if we get emotional support and love from our husband from day one. But it will be extremely beneficial if any of such expectations are kept to bare minimum.

Hope and Time

Hope and Time are the Best Healers: As a part of our sincere efforts to remain positive and search for healthy possibilities, we can try to discover the unique qualities in our spouse. He may turn out to be a better individual than our past love. With this hope we can start winning his heart. Response will be immediate if the efforts are directed precisely. Over the time, the regrets of being a loser in love will be replaced with the satisfaction of winning a heart. This will be a befitting reply to the threat of emotional deprivation between us and our husbands after marriage.

]]>
0
Administrator http:// <![CDATA[How Women Can Handle Anger Against Their Spouse]]> http://marriage.ygoy.com/2009/10/09/how-women-can-handle-anger-against-their-spouse/ 2009-10-12T12:01:28Z 2009-10-09T07:43:08Z Anger is not destructive per se. It is the timing when we display this emotion, that mostly cause undesirable consequences in relationships. Among all the human emotions, the most misunderstood and underestimated emotion is the Anger. This article tries to understand what it takes to handle anger against the husbands.

Anger

Give anger its deserved place in life: Anger should always be the stage three while expressing displeasure. But before that we should display composure and patience as the previous stages respectively. Our upbringing do not present a healthy attitude towards this feeling. But we must learn to place it in its deserved stop in the larger schemes of affairs. It should be a means to stop our partner from taking us for granted. We cannot handle anger by making it the mode of communication with our spouse every now and then.

Think about anger when you are not angry: Most of the times we learn valuable lessons about particular aspects of life in unobvious situations. Remember about being angry when you are in a contemplative mood. Chances are that you will have an objective take on this emotion, realize the fallouts and prepare the mind to handle anger the next time by remaining composed.

Men complaint mostly for lack of logic: Women feel anger. Whereas men think about it. They mostly get angry or complain when there is lack of reasons in women’s words or actions. Here the women must understand that men are so by their very nature. They should not expect their husbands to feel the anger as they do. Increasing the dose of rationality in sensitive matters is well appreciated by the men.

]]>
0