Marriage Problems

What should I do?

Great you are looking for solutions. That’s the best part of a problem – having the attitude to solve a problem. And that fact that you are looking for a solution with you marriage goes on to tell how much you love your spouse.

Who doesn’t have problems in marriage? Well those who do not get married. Bad joke isn’t it? But just wonder how you were before this marriage, didn’t have you problem then? Problems are part and parcel of life and more so in love life. If you see the number of words that are associated ‘problems’ you will find the words ‘teenage’, ‘workplace’, ‘women’ and ‘marriage’ used mostly. Association of such words with the other has been highlighted so much that as soon as we get a problem we tend to generalize the problem and categorize it to solve it.

‘LISTENING’ – Try listening for some time daily. Not your spouse’s problems, or not to your voice that tries to put the blame on the other person. But listen to that voice that once said, ‘wow’ about the other person. May be the other person is not that bad. May be no one is. Or may be you both were/are thinking in different directions. TELL the other person that, when you go home or when he/she meets the next time.

LEARN to SAY- It is always the content that matters in what you say to the other person who has been in marriage with you. But remember, it is the TONE that might hurt and the TIME when you say it. If you know you are going to say something important, then how many times have you got the CORRECT WORDS, in the RIGHT TONE and more importantly at the RIGHT TIME. Speaking is not just to spurting out words, but it is an art that tells the other person how much you care.

KNOW YOUR OUTSIDERS – There will always be people whom you want to tell about your ‘marriage problems’ (oh I’m using that word too). But know who you can tell and how much. And when you tell those other people, make sure that you tell the WHOLE THING, not the part that hurts you. But whose is the marriage? Yes, you know the answer, the others can only listen, but you know what to do. So do it. All the best.