Comments on: Opponents’ Views on Arranged Marriage

By: jeeva

jeeva — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 06:41:39 +0000

I would rather be alone than in a bad relationship. I would rather have no family than have one who treats me like property or pressures me into something I don’t believe in or doesn’t respect my individuality or encourage me to be my own person and follow my heart.

You have the freedom to choose to marry who your parents want you to marry. Go ahead and do that Just always keep in mind that it is WRONG for you to make others who choose to marry someone based on love feel like an outsider or unindian or however you have verbalized them in your mind
thanks lydia

By: Jay

Jay — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:40:59 +0000

My first marriage was arranged, my brother knew this family and they were looking for a boy. We met only once, talked for few hours. My stupid brother put so much pressure on me, I said yes to marry that girl. My biggest mistake, I did. Year later, I got divorce. I could not stand her, she hated me as much as I hated her. We were totally opposite of each other.

Three years later, my uncle introduce me to another girl, we mat and talked. We went on dates for three months. Then I said I will marry her. No one put any pressure on me. I choose to marry her. I am still married to her after six years.

Arrange marriage has few meanings. But at the end, you have to choose not your family or any one else.

By: Izzy

Izzy — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 05:50:25 +0000

arranged marriages is wrong. Can’t get a divorce because my parents are going to be ashamed of me so I’d rather be stuck in misery forever. When people asked, how do did you guys meet? Oh: we got in an arranged marriage, and we kind of got to knew each other for a few days. How the hell does that sound? really people. I would NEVER do that to my kids, when I do have kids. But, I’ll just try to guide them in the right direction that’s all. But, life, love, people aren’t perfect. Live and learn.

By: Izzy

Izzy — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 05:48:33 +0000

arranged marriages is wrong. I’m Cambodian and we some of us still beleive in arranged marriages today. I feel like it should be between the two people not the parents or family. I HATE people who judges someone just because they have ex b/fs or had pre marital sex. That doesn’t make the girl a slut or a whore. I feel like when you get into an arranged marriage, you’re just doing that to make your parents happy. Can’t get a divorce because my parents are going to be ashamed of me so I’d rather be stuck in misery forever. When people asked, how do did you guys mee? Oh: we got in an arranged marriage, and we kind of got to know each other for a few days. How the hell does that sound? really people. I would NEVER do that to my kids when I do have kids. But, I’ll just try to guide them in the right direction that’s all. But, life, love, people aren’t perfect. Live and learn.

By: pat

pat — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 14:27:25 +0000

Marriage should be between the two people and not the entire families. Since it involves the entire family when it comes to arranged marriage, I believe it’s not natural or right or healthy. Parents need to learn to let go of their children by a certain age. Arranged marriage supports the attachment of parent and child. The love marriage is ideal but has been abused by couples who act too quickly because of strong initial feelings yet haven’t realized the reality of marriage or long-term committment. But they learn and what is wonderful is that they are allowed to make that mistake and allowed to fix it. It’s the freedom to make your own mistakes but also it’s freedom to bring happiness into your life. And what about those that are gay or want to stay single or aren’t interested in marrying or having children? Families who encourage arranged marriages makes it hard also for these people to live authentically. And just because the parents are of old age, doesn’t make them wise. And when the arranged marriage goes bad, whose to blame? Whose held accountable? The older people who helped decide who was best suited for their son/daughter?

It’s not instant gratification that is the problem in our society. It’s lack of freedom in the world and racism in the world that is the problem. Get over your culture, religion, family background, caste, or whatever you so strongly identify with. We are all human first! No one is better than anyone based on their origin, ethnicity, color, beauty, wealth, religion, gender! No, love marriage does end for some, but you know what? People make mistakes. Did you not know that? Have you never made a mistake? Making a relationship work is hard.

By: Lynn

Lynn — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 18:04:29 +0000

I think that when people view marriage as a lifelong committment they are more likely to make decisions in their life that support that philiosophy and are more willling to work through marital problems when they arrise. It doesn’t matter if the marriage is arranged or not, but rather the expectation of the two people taking those vows.

Too many people these days don’t take marriage seriously enough and simply ditch their spouse and children if they think they might be happier. With an arranged marriage or a mariage with serious committment such as those that truly do mean “until death do us part” are more likely to work out their problems, stay together and find happiness.

I think our instant gratification society does not support family values such as marriage. Even religeous beliefs don’t seem to interfere with our individual pursuit of happiness any more.

By: Yesh

Yesh — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 11:49:25 +0000

Trust me, Indians are one of the egoist ppl on this planet and we are a bunch of idiots. When you point out some drawbacks of our culture, we get united and say all sorry of crap to prove ourselves. To be frank, marriages in India are a big nonsense.

Arranged marriages are as bad as dowry system, I wish as a society we grow up and try to liberal.

By: Caty

Caty — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 19:48:23 +0000

You don’t understand that in some countries This is the normal thing. The wife has the choice to turn down their “suitor”. Also the couple is set up by religious, ethnic, and socio back-rounds.
Arranged marriages are set up with the couples best interests in mind. They don’t just sit their and let everyone else choose their lives as you may or may not think.

By: Tara

Tara — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 20:13:56 +0000

Arranged Marriage Is Wrong and should be abolished ! Ok i may only be 14 but doing ethics, and studying and researching aranged mariages, i can already tell that it is wrong. You need the freedom that you would normally have in a normal mariage. You should be able to pick the person you fall in love with. Afer all, your partber is menat to be your bestfriend, soulmate and overall partner for life. People deserve to have the choice to who they fall in love with.
Just because cultures with arranged marriages have lower divorce rates, you cannot conclude that arranged marriages are necessarily better than non-arranged marriages. There are too many other social and cultural factors to consider. The biggest one is that in many cultures where arranged marriages are the norm, divorce is taboo.

Also, women typically do not have the same social, legal, or financial standing as men and often cannot become financially independent and support themselves and their children. Often, a divorced woman is often not accepted back into her parents’ or siblings’ homes, and many times she has no way to earn enough money to support herself. So…the decision is “live with this person I really don’t like or be homeless and destitute”. hmm…wonder what they choose? Also, men who divorce can be seen as big embarrassments and disgraces to their families.

Also, there might be less freedom for people involved in such arrangements to express satisfaction or dissatisfaction. Women, in particular, may be tied by fear of the consequences if they express dissatisfaction. I think also it depends very much on the educational and cultural level of the families and on the society in which they live.

I do not know why people think arranged marriages are a good idea.

By: paki

paki — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 20:46:31 +0000

what da f………