Personality and Marriage

Whether personality traits and attitudes decide your marital fate or not still remains a controversial issue. Experts continue to associate Myers Briggs model of personality with marriage on the grounds that it demonstrates the need to understand one’s partner, to appreciate his or her differences, to recognize the reasons of conflicts, contribution of both parties in a marriage and finally the ability to recognize each others needs in and outside the marriage.

Myers Briggs model of personality basically aims at promoting mutual harmony and understanding between people with positive attitudes such as commitment, respect, appreciation, etc.

While one school of thought holds the view that an individual’s interests, values and understanding helps in shaping his or her marital life others refute it. There are three major schools of thought which offer different opinions and arguments to either support or refute the fact that personality has a significant influence on choosing a partner and the willingness to pursue marital bliss or cacophony.

The first school of thought proclaims that personality traits have no effect on the choice of a partner. This school confirms that though couples pay some attention to each others personality traits and preferences while considering each other, there is no such overall pattern of personality attraction that can actually be defined when it comes to choosing a partner.

The second school of thought believes that personality does affect the choice of a spouse or partner. They go on to assert that a person usually tends to choose a person quite different in personality and taste from himself or herself. The school confirms that couples deliberately or unknowingly sometimes opt for a person opposite in character so as to complement for what she or he may be lacking in.

It is ironical though but people continue to complain about their spouse being different from him or her. Even after making a conscious choice people have problems with their partner. In the zest for pushing the limits of one’s experience a person opts for a person opposite in character.

The third and last school of thought explains that personality affects the choice of a spouse in the sense that one tends to choose a partner whose personality traits matches with his or hers. This happens on account of the fact that people prefer to have a spouse or partner who has similar tastes for better compatibility and understanding prospects.

Two inevitable principles that help in creating marital stability has been put forward by Ray Catell with respect to personality and marriage prospects. This includes one’s sense of attachment for the other in some way or the other and having the willingness to initiate and offer solutions and support to his or her partner for life.

No matter what it takes to choose a partner, the success of any marriage lies in one’s own choice to make or break it. So boost your positive attributes to nurture an everlasting marriage.