Step parenting means having to choose not only your spouse but having to accept and be accepted by his or her children all at the same time. The problem lies in sharing your space with people you are not acquainted or familiar with.
This can be true of the kids too who are now having to live and accommodate with a new father or mother. Experts hold the opinion that step parenting can be a success when relationships are based on mutual love, respect, understanding and discipline.
Most step parents are constantly grappling with the efforts to bind either themselves with their step children or to unite their step children to an already perturbed relationship existing with their own biological parent. Discovering and organizing innovative chores where the entire family is required to participate together like cooking, gardening or spring cleaning can reduce the gap between the kids and parent.
Tips for successful step parenting:
Experts recommend an array of steps that can help improve relationships between step parents and step children. They include the following:
- Experts claim that it is very natural for a biological parent to love his or her own kids more, so never criticize his or her kids as it is not really healthy if you want to be accepted as part of the family.
- Accept the dynamics of a new home and the new rules that have been accorded to discipline and love children.
- Never rule your step kids as they will rebel against you.
- When the biological parent is trying to maintain discipline, do not interfere as children might feel intimidated by an outsider and elders.
- Try empathizing with the situation of your kids and do not try replacing their own parent as they are already unhappy about their parentsâ€™ separation and cannot see their own in you. So it is always better to approach them as a friend.
- Do not scold or force them to do anything. Instead make things interesting and guide or direct them through an activity or behavior.
- Try communicating through words, games or activities with them so that they feel comfortable enough to confide in you.
- In case the kids are fighting with their biological parent, it is best to hold your nerve and emotions and not react. Try respecting their emotions as well. This will bring you closer to them.
Step parenting is about connecting with your spouseâ€™s kids and loving what they love and not about enforcing your ideas, beliefs and rules on them. It is a journey of shared experiences and learning so make it fun and interesting for you and your kids.